I woke up this morning frustrated and exhausted- in the past 72 hours, just as I've decided to finally get round to basal testing, my blood sugar's gone bats on me. I've been chasing lows, I spike a little, I plummet back down low, I spike a lot, i level out, i plummet again... on and on it goes. add to that my CGM alarms that kept going off all night last night, convinced that I was dying, when this really was the one time I was level and in range.well, until i went low again as my alarm went off this morning...
suffice it to say I was in a dark mood when i got to the lab this morning. As I opened up the microscope room, surveying the quiet, the gloom, the little blinking lights on the monitors and boxes- there was a heavy, velvet peace in the air. As if the electronic darkness spoke to me, welcomed me into the sanctuary.
"hello, darkness, my old friend"
but a heavy darkness, not Art Garfunkel's, as melodic as his is. no, this darkness is deeper than that. And so today I share with you an old favourite, and the soundtrack to my refuge in the microscope room this morning.
The music, like an old friend, lifts my spirit a little, sparks some life in my gloom. My mood may still be dark, I may still be stuck in this dark bat-cave sanctuary for a while, my body may still be stuck on the glucocoaster. but i have hope and i seek patience. my sugars will level out. this work will finish.
It may still be dark where I am. So today, I'm calling myself a dark romantic. And I wait for the light.
[hat tip to the Awakening, by the way. An old favourite SA goth band, and owners of the music in the video and link]