I have my appointment with my diabetes doctor tomorrow. I’d call her my endo, but she’s not, she’s a GP with special interest in Diabetes. I guess I should find an endocrinologist at some stage, but they’re in a little short supply in my city. And really, for now, the GP with special interest (lets call her Dr S) works- I like her, she’s got a load of experience, a good rep, and a really well equipped practice. Anyway, I digress.
I’m always nervous before doctor appointments (ok, not for my normal colds-and-fu GP, just all other doctors). Especially with diabetes, I’m nervous about what the doc has to say, if I get good news or bad, if I get a telling off for doing a bad job, or encouragement for trying. And then, there are the blood tests. It’s not the test that scares me (needles aren’t really a thing when you’re sticking one into yourself up to 12 times a day). It’s the results that make me nervous. The waiting for them, and finally getting them forwarded from the doctor.
I haven’t had my HbA1c checked since I last saw Dr S. That was august last year. Yes, I know that that’s way too long ago to have had my check up. The thing is, besides being lazy and broke, when I’m struggling to see any difference in my BG control, I struggle to motivate myself to spend time and money on an appointment where I’ll probably be told the same things, get the same blood test results, and feel even more useless about my diabetes management. Hence, I put off making this appointment until two months ago.
But this time, it feels like it could be different. Even though I’m not sure if there has been much change in my BGs since last year, I have to remind myself that stuff has been falling into place more for me; I have been putting at least a little bit more work into this disease. It still feels like my sugars are all over the place, but maybe, just maybe, I’ll see the effect of my efforts in my HbA1c. Hey, even a little drop would be encouraging.
The bigger thing about this appointment for me is that, for once, I’m actually excited about it. I’m still fostering my recently-acquired raging will to take this stupid diabetes on. The past month, especially, has seen me gathering information about what’s out there in diabetes developments land, and what is actually going on with my own diabetes. I may not have a pattern worked out yet, but I have the data. And a whole lot of questions about it- what can be changed, how to tackle different trends that crop up every so often, and what the heck to do when what should normally work doesn’t seem to work at all.
PLUS, I’m super excited to chat to Dr S about me getting an insulin pump and CGMS. She’s been asking for years if she can put me on a pump yet. For mostly financial reasons (my family doesn’t have much spare cash for such expensive equipment, and there was no chance this side of eternity that my (now old) medical aid was going to cover it), plus a fair amount of hard-headed stupidity for my part, a pump was never really a possibility. That’s changed- my new medical aid was selected specifically because they have a history of paying for these things. This might actually happen, and I’m so super stoked. It’s probably going to take a few months to make this a reality, but at least tomorrow I get to pull Dr S on board with this plan, and hopefully get the ball rolling so this can happen as soon as possible.